Urban Decay Naked Smoky – Look

Urban Decay Naked Smoky – Look

So I ran a poll on Twitter and you guys wanted to see me create a look using the Urban Decay Naked Smoky Palette. I did a really simple day-time look. I had fun editing the eyes! ( I didn’t edit the makeup at all, just my eye color.)

I’m no photo pro, and I have terrible lighting in my room, but I gave these pictures my best shot. 🙂 I hope you enjoy them!

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These are the 5 colors I used. Black Market is so dark and lovely!

I am definitely no expert at taking photographs, but I hope you enjoyed getting to see a sneak peek into one of my makeup looks. I wear this combo all the time!

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Why I Lie Every Day

Why I Lie Every Day

This article is difficult for me to write.

It is difficult because there are things about myself that I have yet to accept. I’m still on a journey, and although I have taken many steps already, the road seems to stretch eternally before me. I’m sure you can relate. We are all trying to improve, not to remain the same person we were yesterday if we can be better tomorrow.

Most people don’t have to fight against mental illness while they’re doing it, moving forward, growing. I can speak to my experience, that is all. But I hope that maybe this article will make you feel a little less alone if you suffer for something similar.

I find it easy to be honest on this blog. I risk very little when I tell you all that I’m having a manic day, and am more likely to get supportive tweets when I communicate an anxiety inducing event. In my everyday life, however, I lie to everyone.

I lie every single day of my life.

Let me be clear – this is not the “I stole from you but I’m going to deny it” kind of lying. This is the “I’m never for one second okay, but I will tell you I’m okay, I will act normal, until I completely break apart” kind of lie.

Why lie?

Simple: I think the truth is complicated. Too complicated for you to handle.

When my heart is racing, blood pumping too quickly through my veins and arteries, panic running under my skin and up my back into my scalp, muscles tensed and ready to spring at the first sign of nonexistent danger – that’s the day that I’ll say I feel too sick to get up. I have the flu, I’ll tell you, with my best groggy and pained voice. I just need the day to recover, I’ll be able to push through it tomorrow. Most of the time that is true, I can push through it the next day, but the lie always hangs there, fogging my mind and reaching tendrils of cold guilt into my already heavy, so heavy heart.

When I can’t handle the pressure of being around other people, when my hands tingle and heart beats low and hard, I tell you I have a cold. Better for me to stay away. No, I don’t need anything, thanks. A hacking cough, one I’ve been practicing since I was 5, drives the lie home. More fog. So heavy.

And then there are days when the fog lifts a little, the lies recede, because yes, I really am feeling okay. At those times, being around people gives me energy, and I don’t have to obsessively search for all the exits to a room to stave off a panic attack.

I cherish those days.

If you have ever experienced what I’m talking about, I hope that you have days like that, days that you can cherish.

Those days are worth fighting for.

So I guess the point of this long string of words is this: You are not alone. Even if you have to lie to make it through the day, it’s okay. Someday, you will be able to tell the truth.

I will say this: My story is not over. I build a new paragraph every day, month, year. I will get to the point where I never have to lie to get through the day. And the truth is, the fight to get there, it’s worth it.

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My Current Skin Care Routine

My Current Skin Care Routine

Ever since I started using the medication that my dermatologist prescribed, my skin has been clear of acne. Yay! I stopped using all of my acne treating skin items and decided that now it’s time to start working on anti-ageing treatments. I want to stave off wrinkles as long as I can.

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YSL Rouge Volupte #7

YSL Rouge Volupte #7

First of all, let me thank all of you for your amazing response to my post What a Panic Attack Feels Like. I had no idea so many other people suffered from panic attacks and anxiety disorders, and while this is a sad reality, I do feel like I am part of a huge community now that is working towards a stigma-free world!  Read more

Beauty Brands Xsparkage Master Class: Beauty 101

Beauty Brands Xsparkage Master Class: Beauty 101

I was browsing through my Facebook feed and saw that Beauty Brands was having another event featuring Leesha from xSparkage. Tickets were limited (there were only 20), but it was free, so I immediately registered for two tickets so my sister and I could go.

But what is a master class? What did Leesha teach us about? For pictures and some answers, read more to find out!

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Favorite Bloggers: Part One

Favorite Bloggers: Part One

Every blogger has a source of inspiration, that’s just how writing works. For every writer it is something different – maybe it is a song, a photograph, or a book. The truth is steady and incontrovertible; inspiration is everywhere. Read more